The Favorite Gift I’ve Given

Turns out it is travel

I wrote this piece in response to a prompt, probably from Grant Faulkner, on Memoir Nation. The prompt asked me to write about a favorite gift I’ve given or received. As I thought about it, I realized that the favorite gifts I’ve given are the Heritage Trips I’ve taken our grandchildren on.

While in China, our daughter and son-in-law adopted three children, two from Ethiopia and one from China. Some years ago, I thought it might be years before they could visit the places they came from. At the time, I was mostly thinking of the Ethiopian boys, Micah and Sam. I thought about how difficult it must be to be adoptees, to be black boys raised by white parents, and to have been adopted from such a faraway place. From my parochial perspective, Africa seemed very far away.

When the idea of taking them to Ethiopia came to me, it seemed far too large and expensive to consider. I dismissed the idea, but it wouldn’t go away. I finally decided it wouldn’t hurt to look into it. John and I had used a tour company in 2019 to travel to New Zealand, and it turned out to be a marvelous trip. I mention that trip because it was how I became familiar with the tour company, Overseas Adventure Travels (O.A.T.).

I looked at the O.A.T. website, and they offered tours to Ethiopia! What a surprise. Ethiopia didn’t seem like a tourist destination to me, but I like that O.A.T. travels to seemingly out-of-the-way places. Once again, my parochial views appear.

I determined the cost of taking five people to Ethiopia and discussed with John whether we could afford it. He thought we could, which was exciting. I priced the trip for five people because I wanted our daughter to accompany the two boys and us. While we love our grandchildren, I really wanted some parental influence to travel with us.

Next, I talked to Becky, our daughter, before telling the boys. She thought it was a lovely idea, which pleased me. I planned to tell the boys in 2023 as a Christmas present for a trip to take place the following spring of 2024.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t fair to take these grandchildren on a big trip and not the other two of Becky’s children and two of our son’s children. I decided to make the grand gesture even bigger.

Each summer, we would take a grandchild and a parental figure on what I called a Heritage Tour. Fortunately, their ages made this possible. Thirteen seemed a good age for these trips. Old enough to withstand the rigors of a long adventure and young enough not to mind hanging out with the grandparents. Well, Micah was 14, but that’s just how it worked out.

Before Christmas in 2023, I created and printed brochures for each of Becky’s children, each with a different destination. Well, not each child, since Micah and Sam’s were the same for the summer of 2024. Micah and Sam’s brochure included pictures and a heading for Ethiopia. You can read about the beginning of that trip here.

Hudson’s brochure was for Great Britain in the summer of 2025. Hudson is what Kevin and Becky call their bio-kid. His ancestry is our ancestry. Since most of our relatives came from the British Isles, that’s what his trip was. I wrote about the trip to Great Britain here.

Addie’s trip to China is scheduled for this summer, 2026. I’ll be posting about that trip on this Substack when we get back.

I write a lot about fairness in this post because it is important to me to try to be fair. Becky often reminds me that I’m the only one who cares about fairness toward the grandchildren. I appreciate that she has taught her children that fairness is a difficult concept to put into practice. Some people need more attention than others, and sometimes one child will get more time than others. Your time will come. However, when possible, I like to be as fair as I can. Mark and his kids will get their turn.

Mark once mentioned that he thought he and Becky cared less about fairness between them because they both knew I cared so much. That sounded plausible.

Being able to take these trips with my grandchildren, both financially and physically, has been one of the most enjoyable and satisfying experiences of my later years, if not my entire life. I grew up in a family that could not afford such luxuries. I do not take lightly the fact that John and I can afford them.

Did you get to travel a lot as a kid? What was your favorite trip? Did you travel with grandparents? How was that?